I assume you’ve found this page because, like my husband and me, you are struggling with a child at bedtime!
Do you find yourself wondering, “Why won’t my child sleep without me?” or questioning if there’s a light at the end of the tunnel for a good night’s sleep? These were the exact thoughts that plagued my husband and me every night as we tried to put our two-year-old to sleep. I am by no means a sleep expert, I am just a parent that has been in the same boat as you and are sharing our experiences.
Our Journey: From NICU to Bedtime Battles
Our eldest daughter’s sleep struggles began early, stemming from her time in the NICU for a few days after birth. We diligently followed the advice to wake her every three hours for feeding, ensuring she gained weight. At two months old, we discovered the culprit behind her constant discomfort – severe acid reflux. With medication, her sleep improved slightly, but it was far from ideal. As she grew older, putting her to sleep became increasingly challenging, leading to desperate measures like co-sleeping in a spare bedroom to get some rest.
Empowered Decision: Resolving to Help Our Eldest Sleep Independently at Bedtime
After moving and having our youngest daughter, my husband and I decided it was time to help our oldest sleep on her own beginning in the New Year. The first thing we did was seek God for wisdom to know how to get her to sleep on her own. Next, I read several articles on creating a routine, which we had since she was a few months old, and we began talking to her about going to sleep on her own.
One of the first steps we had to take was being on the same page and deciding when to start. My husband and I had many conversations about “the right time”. We knew we had a lot of change coming up with moving and having our youngest daughter. We wanted to make sure we were out of the majority of the change before we started. Once a couple of months had passed, we realized together the time had come. We discussed starting on a Friday and Saturday so we had the weekend and more time. We prepared ourselves and knew it would take time to get her to sleep by herself and we knew our daughter well to know she would cry and not want to sleep without us.
Our Plan: Faith-based and a Bedtime Routine Chart
Part One:
In seeking the Lord, I found a scripture that I had often recited over myself when I struggled to sleep, Psalm 4:8.
We began praying this prayer over her nighty before bed to let her know she was safe and cared for, no matter what. We talked about how we were watching out for her and most importantly, God was watching out for her.
Part Two:
We had a routine and she knew it well but after reading a blog from Taking Cara Babies, I decided to make it more concrete for her and put it into writing with pictures.
I created the following FREE BEDTIME ROUTINE chart and posted it in her room by her bed. This routine chart helped us because it was larger and in a simple list for her to follow as a two-year-old.
Several days before, we read and talked about the bedtime routine. We discussed how she was going to be sleeping on her own and Mama and Daddy would always keep her safe but it was her job to sleep in her bed on her own.
Game Time: Sleep Training Success
The night came and it was game time. We went through the routine and read her bedtime chart as we went along. There were tears but we went back into her room every 5-10 minutes or so to let her know she was loved, and it was her job to go to sleep on her own. After a few nights, she started going to sleep on her own and sleeping through the night! We were shocked and thankful!! Once she began sleeping on her own for 2 weeks, we moved onto nap time! After one day of crying for 2 minutes she started napping on her own!
Conclusion: Hope for Other Parents
We have had so many ups and downs with her sleep, especially through all the sleep regressions in the first year. If you’re a parent grappling with similar challenges, know that you’re not alone, and there is hope for achieving peaceful nights of sleep. Every child is different and there are so many different circumstances in every family. I hope this post encourages you to know you aren’t alone in your bedtime struggles.
Pray and seek the Lord and wisdom from others to decide what is best for you and your family.
