Controlling your tongue is a challenge many of us face, especially as moms. During my morning quiet time, I came across a verse in the Bible that I’ve read numerous times. It talks about how our tongue is a flame of fire. In James, it says that our tongue has the power to give both life and death. Our tongue blesses the Lord and praises Him, yet at the same time, it can curse those made in the image of God. This scripture has been at the forefront of my mind for the last several days. Every time I read it, it speaks to me, prompting an evaluation of my heart and how I’m using my words.
One of the first posts I made was about using kindness in motherhood. After reading this verse again, I took stock of my words and how I’m raising my children. Upon evaluating my heart, I found that lately, there have been more times when my words have not been kind, and I’ve become easily agitated and frustrated. This has made me think about how I need to watch my tongue. I’ve come up with a few simple steps, and I hope they will help you as well.
Surrender: Controlling Your Tongue Through Faith
The first step in controlling your tongue is to surrender both your tongue and free will to God. We need to ask for forgiveness and acknowledge that we’re human and can’t do this alone. We need His help to guide us as parents, daughters, and friends. God has given us a wonderful helper on earth, the Holy Spirit. When Jesus rose from the dead and returned to heaven, He gave us this Helper, Who is available to assist us throughout the day. Once we surrender to Him and seek His guidance, we’ll notice moments where we can change our tone or words.
This has been true in my own life, especially recently. Each day, I ask the Holy Spirit to guide me and quicken me before I speak or act. Doing this in the morning has made my day smoother and has helped me use more kindness with my words and wisdom when correcting my daughters. With the help of the Holy Spirit, my words are more life-giving, and I’m less easily angered or frustrated.
Quiet Time: How Bible Study Helps in Taming Your Tongue
Finding time to spend in the Bible and in prayer with Jesus will also help us control our tongues. From experience, I know there are days when finding a quiet moment is challenging with two little ones. But when I spend time reading my Bible and praying, I can better control my tongue and speak more life-giving words. Some days, I only have 2 to 3 minutes, but I try to use those minutes to say a quick prayer, ask the Holy Spirit to guide my words, or read a short chapter in the Bible.
One way I’ve been trying to find more time is by including my oldest daughter in my Bible and prayer time. We sit at the table, and I read my Bible, then I’ll read a story to her from her Bible. Afterwards, we both pray over our family. While there are moments when I have time to read the Bible on my own, I know that God understands the season I’m in. I believe this is a season of teaching and showing my children how to read the Bible and make time for God. It’s about spending time together, learning about God through His Word, and teaching my daughters to do the same.
The more time we spend in our relationship with Jesus, the more we will reflect Him. If we want our words to be life-giving, we have to spend time with the One who is the giver of life.
Finding Joy: Speaking Life-Giving Words as a Christian Mom
Finding joy is another way to control your tongue and use more life-giving words and fewer negative ones. Joy is easy to find on days when my daughters give me hugs and kisses, when my oldest says, “I love you, Mama,” or when my youngest claps her hands and smiles at me! These moments make it easy to find joy. But it’s in the tough moments where joy is harder to find.
Recently, I was running late to one of my daughter’s appointments, and of course, I got stopped by every red light along the way. I hate being late, and I was getting frustrated and upset. In that moment, I couldn’t find any joy, but looking back, I see how God might have been protecting me from an accident or using the delay to teach me to find joy.
Another area where I’m working on finding more joy is when my youngest keeps getting into things she shouldn’t—like the trash or trying to touch the TV. There have been countless moments when I’m constantly moving her away from the trashcan or entertainment center, and I feel frustrated and tired. But then I stop, look at her little face, and realize that she’s still learning. I’m so thankful to have a little baby to love and guide to safer places.
Finding joy in tough and stressful moments helps us keep our words life-giving and uplifting, rather than angry or, as the Bible says, cursing those made in the image of God.
Controlling our tongue is challenging, but it’s something we’re called to do in the Bible. Yes, we are human and will fall short at times, but I encourage you to surrender your day to God. Spend time in the Bible and in prayer. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you with your words. Lastly, find joy throughout your day. Seek out moments of happiness so that when tough times come, you can look back and find the strength to control your tongue.
Do you find it easy or hard to control your tongue?
Other Blog Posts on Christian Motherhood
How to Raise Godly Kids in Today’s World
Raising Kids with Faith and Love
