What does it mean to use kindness and wisdom in parenting? After having my second daughter, I was up late into the night feeding her. Usually, I would scroll social media and mindlessly watch reels on Instagram to stay awake. One night I decided I’d do the daily scripture devotional on YouVersion Bible App. After searching for several minutes, I decided to do a Proverbs 31 Bible devotional. While completing the plan, the following verse stood out to me.
“When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.” Proverbs 31:26
This scripture began to sink deep into my soul. The following questions began to run through my mind:
- How do I want to parent our girls?
- How do I want to speak to them and guide them?
- What can I do daily to help me live this verse out?
I began to ponder this verse and look up the definition of wisdom and kindness and find ways to keep this verse in my mind to be able to live out daily.
“Embracing Kindness and Wisdom: A Closer Look at the Verse”
Meriam Webster’s Dictionary defines wisdom as a deep understanding, keen discernment, and a capacity for sound judgement. Using wisdom gained from watching others and listening to your mother’s intuition is the cornerstone of effective parenting. In a world of modern technology, we are filled with knowledge on how to parent and how to raise our children. We see information on how to sleep train, how to co-sleep, how to feed using BLW, how to teach, etc. Reading information on these topics can provide wisdom to us and guide us in our parenting but we must keep God at the forefront of our mind. We need to continually seek Him through prayer for guidance and what to use and not use to parent our children.
Kindness becomes the nurturing force that shapes the parent-child relationship when it’s coupled with wisdom. The two go hand in hand with modern parenting. Kindness does not mean that you have to be soft and passive in your parenting. The Proverbs 31 model of a woman reminds us that firmness can coexist with kindness. The ability to speak with kindness and use wisdom fosters security in love while learning valuable life lessons.
“Practical Strategies for Implementing Kindness and Wisdom in Daily Parenting Life”
- Set a Reminder:
After I read this verse, I decided I wanted to make it one of my mottos in parenting but questioned how I would remember this when I was feeling short tempered or stressed. One of my best friends shared a strategy she uses to remember scripture: She would put reminders in her phone that would go off at different parts of her day.
I immediately copied the verse and put it into my reminder’s app on my phone. The reminder will go off daily at 3pm when I need the reminder the most! It has allowed me to memorize the verse and sink deep into my soul. After several days and weeks, I’ve found that at times I need the reminder the most, it will pop into my mind and allows me to stop and focus before I correct my daughters.
- Create a space or time for connection:
You can demonstrate kindness through spending quality time together which will promote bonding and open communication. Since my youngest was born, I’ve tried spending time with my oldest at least 10-15 minutes a day. Finding time to do something together has allowed our relationship as Mama and daughter to bloom and grow. I find it in these times the bond we are creating helps in moments when she is overly frustrated. It allows me to speak into her life and give her instructions or corrections with firmness but kindness. Whether it’s a daily family meal, bedtime stories, or weekend outings, these rituals provide opportunities to share wisdom through storytelling and demonstrate kindness through quality time.
Modeling Behavior:
Demonstrating wisdom and kindness to your children is the perfect way to model a Proverbs 31 life. Children learn by observing and you as the parent are the person, they want to imitate the most.
My oldest daughter is constantly using terminology and doing what my husband and I do. In our home we always ask a lot of questions. My husband or myself usually ask each other how we are doing or if we had a good shower when we get out. Our daughter has taken it upon herself now to ask if we had a good shower or ask us if we are okay. These simple acts of concern for another person now appear in how she responds to us and when she is playing with her babies in her room. Often, I hear her asking her babies how they are doing or correcting their behavior as we do her.
The age-old saying is “Your actions speak louder than your words”. This is so true especially for young children. Your actions and how you handle situations speak loudly to your child and chances are you are going to hear yourself repeated. Talking about decisions you have to make and showing kindness to other models Proverbs 31 life to your children.
Conclusion
In embracing the Proverbs 31-woman model, we embark on a journey where wisdom and kindness intertwine, shaping not only our parenting approach but also fostering a legacy of love, grace, and enduring life lessons for our children. My prayer is for each of you to use wisdom and kindness while parenting. Set a reminder to keep the scripture at the forefront of your mind and find moments to spend together and grow your relationship with each other.
What ways do you use wisdom and kindness while parenting?
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